MEN O PAUSE

     Mother's Day is over and gone. It has become a very emotional day to me and my husband of almost fifteen years. After years of failed attempts at trying to get pregnant, surgeries, and Fertility Specialists, we made the concious choice to stop. After a few years of enduring immense pain, came the hysterectomy. I can now say with certainty, my husband and I did not know the whirlwind we were about to endure. Nor were we prepared mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually for what would follow.

     Most Doctors inform their patients about the physical effects of a hysterectomy, but hardly ever do they discuss the mental and emotional effects. The latter is what I, among many other women, experienced. I can be raw and honest and tell you that I went bat crazy. I lost my ever loving mind! My once carefree, outgoing personality had become an insecure, vulnerable recluse. I began to suspect my husband of cheating; to the extent of hiding in bushes late at night, wearing all black in the freezing temperatures of winter. I bought spy cameras, the little tiny ones with motion sensors and infrared technology and voice activated recorders were placed strategically all around our house. I did things that were normally uncharacteristic, and would make your mouth fly open aghast! I was mean, aggressive, callous, untrusting, and disrespectful. I hated his voice, and the very sound of his breath made me cringe. Most of all, I hated myself for who and what I'd become, but no matter what I tried, I could not "fix" myself. I'd also not slept more than two hours a night, if even that.
   
     One day, while on vacation, I visited a natural health pharmacy and noticed and purchased a book immediately. The title was From Hormone Hell to Hormone Well by Dr. CW Randolph(If you are going through menopause, or are having a hysterectomy, I HIGHLY recommend this book). After reading the book entirely, I sent an email to Dr. Randolph's contact information and received a call early the following morning. They felt it was an emergency for me to come in as soon as possible and had an availability that Thursday. Hallelujah!
    
     The Doctors at Dr. Randolph's Ageless and Wellness Clinic did tons of blood work and put me on Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy! I'm here to tell you, within thirty minutes of putting the progesterone cream on my arm, I was sleepy. Once they got my hormones tweaked, I returned to my somewhat old and fun self. I say somewhat because, I've never really quite felt the same as I was before the surgery. And, let's face it, the trauma my husband and I endured changed us, as well as our marriage. WE will never be those people again. I profess, I see we both have become stronger together, and our marriage now grows stronger every day. Once on the verge of divorce, we both agreed we wanted to save our marriage. We invited God into our marriage and, it has been a long, hard road, worth every second.

     As God loves His church, I know with certainty that my husband loves me with a fervor only He can provide. We continue to take things day by day, moment by moment. We relish the simple things, living fully in each moment. I am blessed beyond measure for the man God chose to be my husband. My life is full.

To visit Dr. C.W. Randolph, Jr.'s book, or to visit his Ageless and Wellness Clinic visit
http://agelessandwellness.com/

Dazed and Confused

I received a call earlier this evening that was very disturbing.  An old client of mine I did for years and felt friends with at the time had been arrested and jailed after a 14-year old student of hers told authorities she had sex with him.  She is charged with aggravated child molestation, three counts of child molestation, statutory rape, enticing a child for indecent purposes, sexual assault by a person with supervisory or disciplinary authority, two counts computer or electronic child exploitation, sexual explointation of children, and six counts of furnishing harmful material to minors!  Whew!  Apparently, she was using Facebook and other electronic devices to communicate with this child. 
I knew this woman very well for years.  She has a wonderful husband and two beautiful children!  It baffles me that she would even be capable of doing something of this magnitude!!!  I am having a hard time believing this to be true of her, but authorities wouldn't have arrested and/or charged her with all of the above without some sort of evidence.
 
So unbelievingly, I did the only thing I knew to do.  I called Freda.  I know she would know how to find out and who to talk to.  She said she'd do some 'investigating' of her own and call me back.  When she did call, it was as bad as it sounded.  She said she'd been arrested for all the charges plus more to come and that the boy was raped, the sex nonconsentual!  Ugh!  She also said it began during the summer.  All of which is just confusing!  If it 'began' during the summer, that statement insinuates it went on for a while.  If the boy was 'raped' and nonconsentual, why would he continue a relationship with her?  I think there is still more to come and the facts haven't come out because the boy is a minor.  I am just dumbfounded this has happened so close to home!  I am saddened for her husband and children, for they are the people who will suffer the most.  So very, very sad.

On another note, I started writing a novel.  It's a romcom with only 5 pages and just under 3000 words, but I've at least started.  I've had a "little voice" telling me to write a book and have talked about it for years!  I just decided to start writing and see where I end up!  Hopefully it will be on a best sellers list one day, we'll see...

The Wait

The thunder rolls in and the rain starts to fall as I sit writing this.  Oh, how I love the summer rain!  I thank God for the rain that cleanses, purifies the earth and gives us water to drink.  I think it fitting, as my emotions have been jumbled.  I await news of Staci's family's safe arrival in Thailand.  At this point, I figure no news is better than bad news.  I just got home from my therapist's office and got a lot of my feelings out there.  I know within my heart I will be okay while she is away and there is a purpose with lessons to learn on my own in God's Devine Plan for my life.  I trust God knows what is best for my life for me to grow and mature; and I have faith that those plans will come into fruition. 

Farewell to the Wolski's

This week has definitely been one of the hardest emotional weeks of my life.  My sister, Staci and her family, are moving to Thailand.  It is a wonderful adventure for them all, but bittersweet for all of us. 
The Wolski Family came to visit last weekend before embarking on their journey.  We hung out at the pool, telling stories and laughing at anything and everything while watching the kids do tricks in the pool.  It reminds me, when have enjoyed the water all our lives.  We both grew up swimming in pools, rivers, lakes, and the ocean.  Neither of us strangers to a mud puddle in Grandma Childree's yard, it seems we could be found where water was!  I think it fitting, we surrounded our last visit before their departure, at the pool!  We also have had wonderful experiences around food.  Some of the best family experiences, in my opinion, always has food involved!  We gather around a table to share our experiences, whether it's just about everyday mundane or extraordinary.  While here, we had homemade chicken salad sandwiches and wraps, my husband Philip's favorite grilled chicken, lady peas, butter beans, macaroni and cheese, brown rice casserole, and my brother in law Pat's famous grilled hamburgers and french fries.  I also took them to Ingleside Village Pizza to enjoy the BEST pizza atmosphere in Macon, Georgia!  I do look forward to learning about Thai food and culture from my sister halfway around the world!
We had so much fun visiting, I did not want them to leave.  I held on to Staci for so long before they left, just taking in all the energy from her I could get.  We finally let go, she got in the van and I stood there, watching, as their van disappeared.  As I got in my car, I could not contain the floods from rushing down my face.  I drove, disoriented, not knowing where to go or what to do.  For the next couple of days, it was as if I were mimicking the movements of my life, not really coherent.  Philip told me he would drive me to Atlanta Saturday to see her off; which was the BEST gift he could have ever given me!!! 
Saturday arrived, Philip and I got up early and left for Atlanta.  There was still so much to be done before their flight and we helped them get things started.  Philip worked on the electronic equipment while I helped unpack and repack all their suitcases.  We weighed and re-weighed to get the weight equal and packed and re-packed until it was done.  Staci and I lay down for a quick power nap, but didn't get to sleep.  We started tickling each other until we both were laughing hysterically!  During which, Hailley took pictures and Chris jumped on top of us telling us it was time to leave for supper.  We drove to Smyrna for our last meal, which was Mexican at The Border.  It was Staci's last meal in the United States request.  On the way back to the hotel, I called mom and put her on speaker phone for all to hear.  I let momma talk to Staci because she has been a frantic mess!  I could tell momma didn't want to get off the phone, but we all knew they had to.  After saying her goodbye's to mom, we hung up and I called daddy.  I also put daddy on speaker phone and let him talk to everyone as well. We finally pulled into the hotel parking lot and finished our conversation as we piled out of the party wagon.  We had one more bag to finish, so we headed upstairs and got busy.  It was soon time for Philip and me to depart, allowing the Wolski family to get some much needed sleep.  Before we left, I lay down on the bed facing Staci, held her hands in mine and sang softly to her my prayer;
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind blow at your back
May the sun shine warmly on your face
May the rain fall softly on your field
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hands.
We are each other's FINK and we do everything fun together, but not this fun thing!  I am there with you, in Spirit, my beautiful best friend, my heart, my soul, my sister.